Eggs Benedict

Have they learnt nothing from Jade’s eviction?

My God – just how thick can these people be?

It seems that we as a race always need someone to pick upon, victimize and bully. It’s a distasteful need to admit to but if Big Brother truly is a reflection of society then the proof is plainly there to see.

No sooner is Jade ousted from the BB house and the bullying of Shilpa dies down than the housemates choose a new target and a whole new round of bullying begins. This time the victim is Dirk Benedict. Phew – well at least there isn’t a racist angle this time, eh folks?

I’m not even sure quite why it started. Dirk flirted quite harmlessly with Shilpa – all taken in good fun and lasting little more than a couple of minutes – and suddenly Cleo Rocos is dressed up as a tart and is literally hounding Dirk all over the house pretending to leer and paw at him. Poor Dirk was trying to sleep on the sofa when it first started – hassling nobody. Even when Dirk made it plain he’d had enough still Cleo continued, her whole stance quite aggressive. I’m very very disappointed in her. It seems that she has a nasty side too.

As far as Cleo was concerned she was teaching Dirk a lesson – if he can give it out he ought to be able to take it too.

Excuse me?! Who appointed Cleo – or anyone else for that matter – the arbiter of public morals in the BB house? What right has anyone got to “teach” another person “a lesson”? What arrogance!

My own theory is that Cleo fancies Dirk and is feeling rejected by his attention to Shilpa. After all, it was Dirk’s flirting with Shilpa which seemed to kick all this off. Shilpa however was fine about it – no one needed to teach Dirk a lesson on her behalf. If anything Shilpa was rallying around to support Dirk – trying desperately to deflect Cleo’s attention away from him and later sitting with Dirk in the garden to make sure he was ok.

Hmm. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, eh, Cleo?

Worse was to come though – the giggling, school girl bullies, Jo and Danielle, proving that they’ve learnt absolutely nothing from Jade’s eviction, were back guffawing into their pillows and making snidey comments with Cleo in the bedroom while Dirk tried to sleep later that night. Here we go all over a-bloody-gain.

I don’t know about anyone else – but this constant bullying (it happens EVERY BB series) is starting to leave a permanently nasty taste in my mouth. Are we really that malicious and spiteful as a species?

BB and my own life experience suggests that maybe we are. I’ve even witnessed similar bullying occur in the office where I work. Seemingly it’s commonplace.

Sigh. But it ain’t right.

Beeb And Boobs

Beeb because I’m off to the BBC HQ in Coventry tonight, there to undergo my induction into the BBC’s highly vaunted Citizen Journalist programme. Yes, yours truly has been selected to be one of the BBC’s on-the-street unpaid reporters... me and 5000 others no doubt. But hey it’s a toe in the door and who knows where such an opportunity might lead?

My own radio show – Blake On The Beeb?
My own TV show – Blake On The Box?

Who knows!

And Boobs just because I’m completely mesmerized by the lovely Cleo Rocos on Big Brother. She’s worn very well, bless her, and still has the va-va-voom that filled my burgeoning pubescent thoughts with bouncy naughtiness. To top it all she’s genuinely a very lovely person too. Definitely still my favourite to win. Bookie’s favourite, Leo Sayer, on the other hand has fast turned into the most grumpy gnome in the garden centre and won’t last the distance in my humble opinion.

Hey maybe I could have my own radio show with the lovely Cleo? – Blake On The Boob?

The TV show title could stay as it is, I guess.

(All meant in the best possible taste...)

Big Brother? Who’s Bothered?

Very unwisely I tuned in to the launch of the new Celebrity Big Brother last night. Within minutes I wished that I hadn’t... and yet continued watching.

Just what IS the pull of this damned show? It’s like it exudes some form of electronic monosodium glutamate that keeps everyone going back for more no matter how sick of it we all are. That and the fact you can’t join in work conversations the next day unless you have the complete breakdown of the ridiculous BB events that occurred the night before.

Christ but they're a rum bunch of has-beens this year. Ken Russell looks like he’s suffering from dementia. Jermaine Jackson looked bewildered and totally freaked out by his housemates (you’d think he’d feel right at home really). And Danielle Lloyd thought that Winston Churchill was America’s first president. Geez-us!

The only housemate who gets my vote is Cleo Rocos. Mainly because I used to love the Kenny Everett Show as a kid and during its hey-day I developed a huge soft spot for Cleo. Well a huge hard spot actually. There is something about Cleo Rocos that is just made for skimpy French maid outfits. Well, there are two things about her really. Oh! Enough of this prurient banter!

Anyway the thing that has appalled me most is that Leo Sayer has been tipped as the bookies favourite. Leo frigging Sayer?!? Come on! He is the most annoying man on the planet. He has the most annoying hairstyle on the planet. He’s modelled himself on a 1970’s variety show microphone. He’s about as cool as ordering Saddam Hussein eyeball soup at a Sunni Muslim convention. Just check out the cover to one of his God-awful albums above. I mean pleeeeease. The only thing that pleases me about this picture is that I can easily imagine a shotgun wielding maniac off-camera at the bottom of the picture emptying both barrels into Leo’s midgety little guts and blasting him bodily up against the ceiling.

Yeah. Now I feel like dancin’...