Porridge

The funniest quote from Paris Hilton over the last few days has been her observation that being in prison is like being trapped “in a cage”.

How remarkably astute.

I look forward to more daringly apt similes from Paris along the lines of: “being in prison is like being stuck behind bars” and “being in prison is like being confined to one room all day and not being allowed out to do any shopping. Or drive my car really fast.”

The one I’d most like to hear from her lips, however, runs along the lines of: “I daren’t take a shower because Vinegar Tits keeps trying to pinch my soap on a rope...”